My profound rumblings tonight include suffering and lots of it.
What if this journey of trials and tribulations is a blessing in disguise (the kind of disguise you are freaked out by, on Halloween.)
What if they are the actual forming of the answer to your prayer and most desperate cry...the trial is the path to the answer. So I cry out for answers from God, the next thing I know, I am on a road with thorns, thistles (what are thistles anyway?) and stormy clouds, and steep narrow cliffs and wild animals lurking around every dark corner like snakes and horrible spiders from Australia. I am not exaggerating but I sincerely wish I was.
Like Bilbo...his journey with the ring...I suddenly thought I am at once wanting the answer and hating the answer. Not recognizing that the uncomfortable, painful, downright miserable, and forsaken by all, state of my life, could be very well the answer to my prayer. So I best get on with it, keeping the answer in view, and lots kleenex, bandaids, chocolate, and warm blankets near by because I am not who I will be and I think I am living the answer, though its yucky, miserable and I really just hope I am right on this! Or else I am going to start complaining (even more loudly and vociferously than I already am)
2 comments:
You know that little girl looks like your two girls ... very cute. :)
Do you possibly think that your discontent is God breathed?
Do you possibly consider that where you are in the church you are attending where you THINK you have it all doesn't come close to providing all that you need?
That all the philosophies that you follow do not compare to following hard after Jesus?
That if it were possible to be a perfect being in this life you would have achieved it already, but that you haven't - it will never happen, b'c God doesn't share his glory with mere mortals?
That you may be off the beaten track of Christianity so far that you can't see the narrow way?
That you are horribly inconsolable b'c you have left the way of wisdom as outlined in Proverbs, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John?
That you are bereft of the comfort of the Lord bc you have left Him who is MORE than any sign or wonder that you seek.
That you are in the presence of demons whenever you are at your church and you have become so deadened to the Holy Spirit that you don't even realize the Kandalini Hindu spirit when it manifests itself?
That heaven is NOT on this earth and will never be ... until Jesus reigns here.
Because heaven is a place that we will live someday IF we faithfully follow Him and do not expect all our earthly existence to be wonderful - that suffering is part of our nature and this world will take it out of our hide ... just as Paul, Peter suffered so must we.
Nothing in this life is good except God ...
No one is clear of all suffering except those who have gone to heaven.
No one is so special to avoid all these human things bc we are human and can not deny that we are flawed and that includes you too.
Did you know that you can privatize your blog?
You can change the blog address and people will still find it.
At this point the only thing finding it is good old google spider bots out of Mt. View Calif - as they are cataloging it to beat the band.
You can even in your blog controls tell it to quit that ...
Anyway, that's your instruction for the day ...
Have you read "The Pilgrim's Progress"? NOW that's a man that suffered! John Bunyan! He's very inspiring! Check it out!
Me thinks you need to change your blogger profile to say something other than you love people bc you don't love me ...
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