Joan...from my earliest memories of her I was fascinated with her living in a convent. She always seemed happy when we nieces and nephews went to visit her. We would lean up and kiss her when we arrived at the Sacred Heart convent and her wimple would scrape our faces...but I didn't mind because it was all such an adventure to see her and visit in the center court there where the wind was less windy and there were plants and I think even a water fountain. I remember distinctly her always asking so many questions about each one of us and I felt very valued by her and all this attention. I remember the life size Creche at Christmas in the convent that she seemed so pleased so show us..it was all magic to me. I would wonder at her being so happy there, with no children and no husband but serving God. I didn't understand the concept but watched it in her and saw her joy. Through the years, as I grew up and went to Alaska and raised a family, of course I had way less time to visit her but that made no difference in Joan and her love for me and now my growing family of five children. Each year she would remember to send cards and sometimes gifts to each one..always remembering something personal about them all. I marveled in my busy young years as a mother how she could track all those details so far away and was keenly aware of the love she showed by caring so much about the things that mattered most to me. So this ..this was serving Christ with all one's being, I pondered. Joan always was the same even into her aging years and confinement due to health. She would ask questions about us all when we came to visit. I regret I was not always so attentive in return, consumed in a busy life of my own raising my children in Alaska, far from the rest of my family. But Joan, she left her mark on me for better. I grew up also wanting to serve Christ with all my being. Though I married and chose a very different life then my Aunt did with the Sacred Heart order, Jesus was my Lord and He became central to all I did in my life and remains to this day. Her thoughtfulness and love was not just in words and questions, her photo album showed all the family members, their spouses, children, etc. Her family was so important to her.
As I perused through the album, I found a simple poem she wrote. It goes as follows:
"Thus by not climbing the height of the hill,
fail to receive and be empty still."
She was seeking God to make a decision about where to serve next. I believe she lived by that..seeking to climb the heights, always pressing forward to the prize of the high calling in Christ knowing that to not do so is to leave one still empty and longing for the more in Him.
I give God thanks today for her life, and for her example of love; a very tangible love which touched this niece who was watching with wondering eyes and a searching heart for truth to be known. Thank you Joan, for showing us Jesus in you, for you have left your mark on us and it is good that we have had you go before us in this journey back to our Creator!
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