Glimpse of the future

Come in to the gate.  The beauty of the Lamb's table will all point to HIm-Praise and praise will fill the table.  Every cup will be brimming with life from the heart of the Lamb~ Love like liquid flows down the table like a river of warm oil into and over everyone seated. Mountain of icy difficulties beginning to melt finally cascade into the river from the throne of God but every tear will be celebrated by the angels and witnesses that looked on and waited for this moment. The Lamb, the Word, moved down to the guests with thick glorious oil embracing, restoring in a twinkling all the loss and pain of a fading memory~ fresh joy and vibrant waves brushed over once tired faces~youth returned with pure eyes of devotion kissing Yeshua's gentle healing hands. Jewels on chairs, floors shining and cups brimming all reflecting the glistening glory of the the new world. Songs will pour forth with notes unheralded; paint, brushes and pencils will touch on paper, turning into new masterpieces as all look onto His beauty~breathless~ praise unceasing~ His Glory shining brightly into every corner of every universe.......

Look to the Sky

Looking to the stars and the dark night so clear
I go back to the Lights of the Northern skies
How the greens and blues and pinks would appear
In deep, cold, shivery winds and sighs
The brush of the Creator would race through the dark
leaving behind a spectacle of  colors
Stars and blue velvet contrasted and sharp
Aurora Borealis praising Another.
Surrounded by Him once again I would be
We would chat away the cares and pain of the days
As I would behold His breathtaking beauty
Comfort would come and push out the dismay
Soon my eyes would remember the sleep
Snowy roads led home to the fire burning
Dreams came softly and cares He would keep
Hope again stirred by the Lights returning.

About Grief

Outlawed Grief, a Curse Disguised

by Jonathan Trotter on December 22, 2013

Living abroad is an amazing adventure, but it comes with some baggage. And sometimes, the baggage fees are hidden, catching you by surprise, costing more than you planned.  You thought you had it all weighed out, you could handle this, squeeze right under the limit.
But then it got heavy.  Your new friends moved away, or your child’s new friend moved away.  Far away.  Like other continents away.   And your kid’s broken heart breaks yours.
Someone died and you didn’t get to say that last, fully present, goodbye.  Family members celebrate a birthday, or the whole family celebrates a holiday, and you’re not there because the Pacific’s really big, and you’re on the wrong side of it.
Or your child can’t remember her cousin’s name, and she doesn’t even know that’s sad. 
And you realize there are just some things Skype cannot fix.
And you grieve, and your kids grieve.  Maybe.  But what if all these things happen again? And again.  You have another round of airport goodbyes, another holiday season with sand. Another Christmas with crying.
What if grieving gets old and annoying and time-consuming and exhausting?  What if it becomes easier to just not grieve?  To not let others grieve?
I’ll tell you what happens: Grief itself gets outlawed and a curse descends.  And everyone learns that some emotions are spiritual and some are forbidden.
Has your grief ever been outlawed?  Have you ever felt that your sadness or grief was “wrong and not very spiritual” and you should “be over this by now”?  If so, I am very sorry.  The prohibition of grief is a terrible, terrible curse.
Sometimes it’s outright, “Don’t cry, it’ll all be ok.”  But oftentimes, it’s more subtle (and spiritual) than that.  It’s the good-hearted person who says, “It’s not really goodbye, it’s see you later” or  “You know, all things work together for good.”
What if your kids miss grandma and McDonald’s and green grass, and someone tells them, “It’s for God,” or “It’ll be ok someday; you’ll look back on this as one of the best things that ever happened to you.” What if you tell them that?
Grief gets banned, and what was meant as a balm becomes a bomb, ticking.  The intended salve starts searing.
When loss happens, why must we minimize it?  Why are we so uncomfortable with letting the sadness sit?  Are we afraid of grief?
We sometimes act as if you can’t have grief and faith at the same time.  Sometimes, shutting down grief seems spiritual.  We tell ourselves and others, “Forget the past and press on.  God’s got a plan.  God is sovereign.”  We use Bible verses.
But banning grief is not biblical, and it’s not spiritual. 
Maybe we feel that grieving a loss of something or someone shows that we don’t have all our treasures in heaven.  Perhaps we delude ourselves with the twisted notion that if we had all of our treasures in heaven, our treasures would be safe, and we’d never experience loss.  And although this is crazy talk, we speak it to ourselves and others.
Does grieving really signal a lack of faith?  Would the truly faithful person simply know the goodness of God and cast themselves on that goodness?  No one would say it, but we sometimes treat the sovereignty of God as an excuse to outlaw grief.  I mean, how could we question the plan of God by crying? 
We may feel that grieving a loss that was caused by someone else (through neglect or abuse) shows a lack of forgiveness.  And although we know it’s not true, we act as if once a person’s truly forgiven an offender, the painful effects and memories disappear forever.
What if the loss was caused by parents or a spouse who decided to become an overseas missionary?  Does the goodness and holiness of their decision negate the grief?  Of course not, but sometimes we feel that the truly spiritual would recognize the godly sacrifice and be grateful.  As if gratefulness and grief are mutually exclusive.  As if a decision has to have 100% positive or 100% negative results.  Gray exists, after all.
Maybe you made the decision to move overseas, and it was a God-thing and your call was sure, but now it’s just really, really hard.  How will you deal with your own grief?  Will it threaten you, or will you courageously allow yourself to feel it?
Remember, grieving isn’t equal to sinning.
Sometimes, outlawed grief goes underground.  It becomes a tectonic plate, storing energy, swaying, resisting movement, and then exploding in unanticipated and unpredictable ways.  A tectonic plate can store a heck of a lot of energy.  Sort of like grief, once outlawed.  It descends below the surface. And sometimes heaving tectonic plates cause destruction far, far away.  Really smart people with even smarter machines have to do smart things to pinpoint the actual location of the destructive shift.
Have you ever experienced an earthquake like this, caused by buried grief?  It might not be obvious at first, but after a little bit of digging, you realize that the pressure and tension had been building for a long, long time.
So please, allow grief in your own heart and in the hearts of your family members.  If you’re uncomfortable with other peoples’ grief (or your own), you might want to look deep, deep down in your own soul and see if there’s some long-outlawed, long-buried grief.  If you find some, begin gently to see it, vent it, feel it.  Begin talking about it, slowly, with a good listener.
And if you come across someone who’s grieving a loss, please remember that they probably don’t need a lecture, or a Bible verse, or a pithy saying.  But they could maybe use a hug.

———————————————————————–

Jonathan Trotter is a missionary in Southeast Asia, serving with the church planting mission Team Expansion.  Before moving to the field with his wife of thirteen years and their four kids, he served as a youth pastor in the Midwest for ten years.  In preparing for the field, Jonathan worked as an ER nurse in an urban hospital, where he regularly witnessed trauma, suffering, and death.  His little sister died when he was six, his mother died of breast cancer when he was seventeen, and his father died of brain cancer when he was twenty-five.

Broken Bridge

Bridges torn down long ago
rivers now uncrossed
distant banks seem far away
their purpose now is lost

Waters rush by unawares
beaches hiding distant land
phantom bridges calling home
where  connection once did stand

5 Attributes of inspirational leaders

5 Attributes of Inspirational LeadersDr. John C. MaxwellThe Sahara plays tricks on the eyes of its travelers. As the desert sun beats down on the sand, heat waves rise from the ground. Light bends as it passes through the superheated air, painting illusory pictures on the horizon. To thirsty travelers moving through the Sahara, it often appears as if an oasis looms in the distance. However, as the voyagers journey on, the oasis proves to be nothing more than a mirage.

Unfortunately, the ranks of leadership are inhabited by a host of mirages: people who look impressive from a distance, but end up being disappointments. After being fooled by a few mirages, followers become jaded about leadership. That seems as true now as it ever has been. Our trust in leaders has been shaken as politicians have reneged on promises, CEOs have squandered money entrusted to their firms, and managers have advanced self-interests above all else.

To restore society's confidence with those in power, leaders have to be able to inspire. I'm not talking about inspiring someone to buy into the corporate vision statement, to meet quarterly sales goals, or to work more efficiently. These aren't bad things, but right now, people are looking for a leader attuned to their personal needs. They want leaders who will encourage them, believe in their potential, and help them grow.5 Attributes of an Inspirational Leader
ATTITUDE OF SERVICE
To be an inspirational leader, you must adopt an attitude of service toward those you lead. This requires laying aside selfish interests to add value to another person. In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., "An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." When you serve, you awaken something magnetic inside of you. People are drawn to follow you because they know you'll find ways to make them better.
AFFIRMATION
To inspire means to have a positive view of others. If we're not careful, we become fault-finders, magnifying the flaws in everyone around us. Instead, leaders should emulate gold prospectors - always on the lookout for potential gold mines. When they find traces of ore, prospectors assume there's a rich vein to unearth, and they start digging. In the same fashion, leaders ought to search for the best traits within a person and commit to uncovering them.
One of the best applications of this idea is expressed in what I call the 101 percent principle: Find the one thing that you believe is a person's greatest asset, and then give 100 percent encouragement in that area. Focusing on a person's strengths inspires them by promoting confidence, growth, and success.

ATTENTIVENESS
Great inspirers know the desires of those they lead. As much as people respect the knowledge and ability of their leaders, these are secondary concerns for them. They don't care how much their leaders know until they know how much their leaders care. When leaders attend to the deeply felt needs of their team, the determination and commitment of each team member skyrockets.

AVAILABILITY
Leaders inspire by intentionally investing time in the people they lead. They make themselves available. People cannot be nurtured from a distance or by infrequent spurts of attention. They need a leader to spend time with them - planned time, not just a conversation in passing.

In our fast-paced and demanding world, time is a leader's most precious commodity. While it feels costly to give up, nothing communicates that you value a person more than the gift of your time. In addition, investing time to develop others has a way of reaping dividends. As Ralph Waldo Emerson remarked, "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
AUTHENTICITY
To inspire, leaders have to be genuine. More than anything else, followers want to believe in and trust their leaders. However, when leaders break promises or fail to honor commitments, they reveal themselves as being inauthentic, and they lose credibility. Trust rests upon a foundation of authenticity. To gain trust, a leader must consistently align words and deeds, while showing a degree of transparency.

CLOSED GATES

You say your gates are closed
You say the trespassers came
You say you suffered blows
You say its only a game

But the gate has a special key
Because the lock is forged in war
Very few can set you free
Past days gone where you would spar

Search the shadows in your heart
For therein you will find
That  from which you did depart
Deep folds over deep to bind

You say you've been brave
You say its all good and fine
What you don't say is in a cave
What you don't say is don't cross the line.

So Brave heart that you really are
Take up the journey across the land
Hidden but not so very far
Is the Key to your gate, in your hand. 

Cracks

rain running down into the cracks
seeping into untouched soil
seeds buried, drinking in the refreshing

dryness forgotten in the downpour
death does not hold forever
as long as Life looses the laden clouds

Rushing creeks swollen with ice
mountain melts coming fast
snow flowers peeking to see the sun

the earth is wet with hope
the season is turning to springs
the long awaited harvest buds appear.

Rain ponderings

So many memories cascading the morn
like waves of a distant ocean
raindrops  pelting the gutters above
bring home the love that made the Universe

Caught between past and days to come
wanting to be present as earth soaks the wet
listening to what His voice would tell
who needs to see behind the veil this day

Sentiments fall like worthless coins
losing their worth in my tired eyes
peeking into the life not seen
valuing Another heart beat reveald

A New Story

words come off the page of past
erased one at a time like
the fading of a sunsoaked chair
hard to remember when they came.

unseen the dicates of love appears
in words and thoughts of others
rewriting, the novel begins to change
the plot once planned now foiled

emerging future paper and pen
the new script begins to appear
like lemon on parchment held over the flame,
a story will end like all fairy tales should.

Its Time

bleeding it shrinks back,
fearing the hand that mends,
fighting the pain that heals.
slowly dark scabs of human making
close in to suffocate the cries of the deep.

muffled it wades through the mud of life
each step labored and unsure
until a dim sun seeps in
craving suddenly to come out

courage of a gladiator must be found
facing the ravaging terror of unknown
permitting a stronger hand to tear
at the paper stronghold

the appearance of self protection
falls like snow to the ground
ice melting off to expose tears of years gone by
it is time now.

time to weep and then the time will be gone
and wounds carried out to the ocean
wave upon wave cleaning the debris of wreckage
until new white sands of beaches
peace becomes the new landscape
it is time.

What I Do When I am Afraid

Fear. It has been my best friend at times in my life. Trust me on this. Its no friend to have. I was taught it well, it comes with a fallen nature of the human race. There is only one way to deal with it. It is an enemy. You have to look at it that way. It is the worst enemy of my soul. It is a disease of the heart. Dis-ease, no ease, no peace in the heart. Not a cool thing to have in the heart. It disables, it paralyzes, it releases toxic chemicals in the brain which incapacitate reason and clear thinking, and it defies that God is good and faithful. It is the loudest witness against Jesus and what He actually  came to do for us. So what do I do when I am afraid, seemingly unable to get back to peace? what do I do when my circumstances are causing my heart to race, my mind to race and my gut to churn because I do not think any of the present crisis will end in anything but pure disaster. Fear paints the worst picture possible. It is a an evil spirit. My job is to do everything in my power and the power of God to keep it and its thoughts and imaginations out of my life.
First when I am really backed up against the wall, I pray in the Spirit. Because it lets my rational thinking mind be still for once and allows the Holy Spirit to pray the perfect prayer in and through me. Second I ask God to protect my thinking and my soul with His Blood. Nothing can cross the Blood line. (Revelations says: they overcame him by the Blood of the Lamb, the Word of their testimony and loving not their lives unto death) Third, I put worship on and I worship without feeling like it, (because I never feel like it when I am in terror) Fourth, I start saying out loud what I  believe about God to be true, directly to Him. I tell Him, I believe you are God, you are faithful, you are full of mercy and kindness, you said you would never leave me nor forsake me, you said you made me more than an overcomer, that when I am weak, you are strong, that you came to destroy the works of the enemy, ....I go back to Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 43...and I read them out loud. Fear Not is in the Bible 144 times. Apparently God knew we were going to need to read that more than once. In the New Testament it is said 27 times. God knows us but He also is inviting us to turn our face to His eyes and climb into His presence and tell him aloud we will commit to trust in Him no matter what. There is something about saying it out loud to Him. I TRUST IN YOU TODAY. I WILL NOT FEAR....I WILL KEEP MY EYES ON YOU TODAY. Every other thought that comes along I will cast down and put it under Your feet! You are Lord today over my mind, my emotions, my will. I will only mediatate on what you say and what you tell me to do. Peace will come, It will come. I promise you, it is yours for the asking and He is present in the Person of the Holy Spirit to Stand By, Comfort, Counsel and Defend you, Interceed for you...He wont leave you ever, He Promised, He promised He would  bring you peace. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want for anything, He leads me through the valley of the shadow of death. Through the valley,..its a shadow, it talks of death but it is not death, Life abundant came with His sacrifice. When you gave your heart to Him you inherited that LIFE. I would have lost heart unless I believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Its coming, His goodness is racing to be at your side, hang on and by all means tell that thing (fear) to go back to hell where it belongs. :)

A Reminder from House

Yesterday in school, our Pastor and staff came with exhortation.Thanking God for this today. It so encouraged my heart.  I thank God He led me into some understanding  of His ways early in my life. I established habits that have created a net for more truths to be taken in. But for those who have not yet known to do these things, its not too late.
Jesus is also called the Word. (see John's gospel) The Word is exalted even above His name by God Himself, it says in the scriptures. (Psalm 138:2) To spend time reading it each day is so key to knowing Him, following Him, and changing our minds to think like Him. He brought a Kingdom when He came but if I don't know how it operates, even though I have given my life to Him, I will live outside of the gates all my life bombarded by the enemies of this kingdom with no power to overcome. I have to read It. It has the keys to life, it is the Truth! Its truth is above every other truth. In my early days, I read the Word because someone preached that I should. I diciplined myself and found the more I read it, the more hungry I became. I would play worship while I read it and it became a conversation with God that grew more intimate as the days and years went on. I journaled and prayed in the Spirit as part of this morning time with God. So you might ask, what came of it all? The half is not yet known, but this much I do know. The depths of God are unsearchable. I saw supernatural things as I raised my children, many accidents averted including the death of my husband three different times, as God led me to pray before the events occurred. I had words for the broken hearted, I found wisdom when I needed it. My life was not perfect; I had no idea God was so good and kind, and that He always saw me as righteous. I did not know the whole package that was purchased at the cross. I had no idea of the fullness of the inheritance He purchased for me, but as I came into this house of God, in Redding, where these truths were taught, I had a foundation already in place to which to fasten these truths. So I encourage my readers this morning to go after God and His words early each day and commune with Him, and you will find an increasingly abundant life opening up. It will be like the dawn breaking after the long night and you will never want to go back to anything else as long as you live. Thank you Pastor Bill and staff for your Wisdom and love for us; it is making a difference in eternity!

ALLERGIC TO FEAR

Its the one disease there is a 100% guaranteed cure for. Trust me, you want it. You want no part in fear. You were created to dominate the earth with God. Anything like fear that comes and talks, should never have an audience or the floor. Say no to that imposter. If anxiety or fear start to move into my thoughts, I go back to the Creator and ask Him..how do I get an alignment here because there is a thought operating in my mind that is an alien. It does not belong to us! So what about the news, tragedies, broken relationships or financial woes? you may be asking...Sorry but fear will not solve any of it and while its working it will take away your health and peace. So go to the Great I Am and get the medicine you need and get allergic to that thing. And soon you will be walking in power, love and a sound mind every day of your life.

Old Health Care Reform

So there is an old Health Care Reform that doesn't get as much press as the new one. Its based on a low economic package within reach for all. All one needs is to be able to think, and speak or read or have someone in the family able to that for them. There is little to do to sign up, just a simple transferring of ones self into the system by a verbal heart felt  agreement. The author of this bill actually paid for the entire package and it includes just about every treatment and ailment one could come up with. By now you probably guessed what I am getting at.
There was one who was born for such an undertaking, was willing to pay in blood, to allow all who would to sign on and receive the benefits.
It was said when the men of that place (where he was seen) recognized him, they sent out into all that surrounding region, brought to him all were sick and begged him that they might only touch (grab hold of and cling to, becoming one with) the hem (symbol of supreme authority) of his outer clothing. As many as touched it were made perfectly well.
So the package was free and still is.
There are no laws that contain it, or nullify it or change who can sign on and get it free.
All one had to do (this is still available) or need to do now...
Is recognize that such a package exists, make a contact with the Author and verbally agree to come under his authority, change the way they think and start reaping the free benefits. I know. Its too good to be true, but I wouldn't lie to you.
The author by the way, is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Jesus. Yes. He came to deliver forgiveness. healing, restoration, prosperity of body, mind and soul and a million other benefits. He is in the giving business. Want to sign on? its not too late.

God is good all the time.

Just returned from a conference with Bill Johnson on this theme of God's goodness. I don't know if they counted all the people that were healed but many hands were up at each session. The healings included, years of tail bone pain (several women healed of this), to hernia repaired, back pain from years of scoliosis "90%" gone,vision returned and glaucoma reduced ...so many I can't recount them all. In addition, many came forth for prayer with depression, continual grief ("for no reason"), and other disorders of the emotions and mind and reported great relief. The woman with continual grief started uncontrollably laughing and you could see joy came from heaven and just engulfed her. 
All so good and great cause for rejoicing to see our kind, heavenly Father surround people and heal their afflictions. But I want to share what it did in me as I partook in praying for people. His great love, the love He has for His children, the love that caused Jesus to lay down His life, just filled up my heart. I felt overflowing love for strangers who came for just a touch from God. I saw in their eyes as they received a knowing, that yes, He is indeed a good God and the thankfulness and joy produced in the gathering each day was overwhelming. It was enough to cause one to dance, which I did on  more than one occasion, and I saw why David broke out in dance before the tabernacle, just filled with the wonder of His unfailing love and devotion to us. The way He knows how to make each one know that His touch was for them alone! The wonder of it! Its too much to absorb and I am not sure how to process it all in my thinking but returned to Redding with such thankfulness and joy, aware of His invisible presence so much more wanting to invade our world. He is waiting for me and you to let Him out, to give Him a chance to love through our words and touch. He is waiting for vessels like us, to get so full of Him and His ways and words that we spill. He is waiting for us to come and be intimate with Him, receive that great love so that we have enough to share and more. He wants to show us the Father's heart, it was always His intent and it has never changed. I am saying yes to the  challenge. This world is dying for power and love and demonstration that the Jesus we have been confessing all these years is indeed the Way, the Truth and the Life.

No option but trust

One night at 10:30 pm I was driving to my job on nights at Children's Hospital. I was at a signal in a bad part if town, when I looked over at the car next to me and saw the driver was staring at me intently. I was 23 yrs old at the time but looked 16. I immediately became frightened and looked back at the road and started out from the signal at the green light. He immediately pulled behind me and began to tail me though I was going about 50 mph. I would switch lanes and then he would as well. I began to really imagine the worse. This area was known for random shootings on the road and such. I cried out to God to help me. I had just turned my life over to Him and was beginning to know Him as a Savior which was what I needed at that moment. I heard this: "just put a smile on your face and tell me out loud .. 'I trust You God'. " so I did just that. The man continued to follow me onto the on ramp of the highway; I moved 4 lanes over to the fast lane, and he did too, right behind me. I continued to thank God and tell Him I trusted Him though inside I was like jelly! Suddenly, a few minutes later, he quickly moved over all 4 lanes and got off at the next exit! I had no doubt that I was delivered from harm that night by a God who knows just how to grow us in our new born faith!

One Baby Boy Born in a Blizzard

It was a cold night in Nome, AK. There was a fierce snowstorm in progress as well. I was 24 years old, a nurse working at the hospital of 12 beds. It was late on the evening shift, when we got a call on the short wave radio from the village of Wales. It was the Health Aide. She said "you have to send out a nurse because my cousin is delivering her baby 8 weeks early and she already has had 5 stillborns and I just can't do this tonight". My head nurse, who had Labor and Delivery experience, and I called the airport and 2 pilots told us to be ready within the hour and we would be on our way. Ten minutes in the air, and Stinky, a well known pilot for flying in any conditions, turned and said "you are lucky, we are the only ones that would fly in this weather". Although he was gloating we were struck that had we known this we would not have ventured out. Well, an hour into the flight, they said to us, "hope you know how to pray, cuz we should have been to Wales by now but we are not and I am not sure whether my instruments are off or the runway lights in the village were not turned on." My prayers turned to preparing to face my Master; I was newly committed to Him and serving HIm as a volunteer in the frozen north was my first attempt at following Him to the ends of the earth. This was not my idea for the end of my life. He turned the plane around and flew back by instrument since visibility in that snowy dark night was zero. The runway lights appeared in the distance this time and we landed and rushed into the village on snow machine to the house of the mother and her newborn. The little house was packed with loving relatives and the mother was in a back room still recovering from the birth. Terri, my head nurse went to attend to her, while I asked where the baby was. They brought me to a cardboard box with newspaper and there lay a 32 week gestation little boy with a shock of black hair. He was breathing and had a good heart rate. We had no supplies for an infant and were even short on dextrose that night but I knew this baby was going to be a bit hypothermic and was going to need some sugar. So I asked them if they could bring me a bottle of warm water and some sugar. He nippled eagerly as I wrapped him up and finished drying him off from the birth. Suddenly he had suckled to his satisfaction and stopped breathing. Praying to my God with desperation, I started respiratory mouth to mouth emergency breaths. We got him bundled up inside my coat and the four of us were driven back to the plane on a sled behind the snow machine while I mouthed to mouthed this little guy, praying with  every breath for God to please keep him alive.
The heater "broke" that night on the plane and was too hot and they could not turn it off, which ended up being a miracle that probably kept the little guy's body temp up while I resuscitated  my little patient all the way back to Nome. When we arrived, his body temp was 98.6, his blood sugar was normal at 90 and he began to breathe on his own again. We celebrated that night, the kindness of God and how much He had orchestrated including the navigation of a small plane in a blizzard to deliver safely one very precious little boy and his mother into a hospital where they could obtain the care they needed. It was only the beginning of my walk with a supernatural God and to this day I marvel at the life He saved one cold winter night in the wilderness of Alaska, 1978!