Unknown

I long to see so far ahead
I'm sure I need the assurance
But the path is full of such sharp corners
The foggy, blurred  road in the distance

So I shirk and hide and wait; I think
it will save my way from harm
But soon I see through the misty view
I must go on and on

For I was made for this, for risk
To discover all that is within
To find the treasure in the journey
To  not lose in this life but win

I hesitate and search for one to come along
But none go this way today
I strive to win and yet  dread going wrong
The struggle brings delay

But the way stays, beckoning onward
Steady, fixed, calling me to soar
I have been here times before
And found the strength when I needed more.

It is faith that propels me forth again
the mountains and trials shall have to give
I am meant to not see past the bend
and trust in the one who made me live.

Fear will be my conquered foe
In trust I push into unseen ways
It is time to rise from ashes
And run my path into future days.

God's House

His House, its me. He is here. Being with Him. It's all that matters. It's why I was born. To be next to Him, to experience Him. To know Him, to love Him,  to be loved by Him. It's all that really makes this life so amazing. It's the only way to let the others know about Him and know Him is to stay here in His company, fellowshipping with Him..Its why we are alive!

Hard Things

When you come into the world you find out right away...
Hard things come in life

You go through your own childhood world and discover
Hard things come in life.

You dream away your fears or
live in fear of the next hard thing

Then adulthood comes and life brings things you never thought of
and you know more than ever hard things come in life.

Now you have choices.
You many not know this, because sometimes a hurricane comes into your life
and all the hard things up to that point seem like nothing

But there is Someone who has set you up to win.
Yes the hard things, He knows about them and they are to help you grow.

When He is there, you can find comfort in the rough spots because
hard things come in life

But they were never meant to bring you down,
The hard things, they are meant to help you soar.

New life once again....

A grandson born in his own home tonight. Relief~ almost 2 weeks late.
Brings me back to the moments when I met each of my children.
Their eyes open in wonder at the new world out of the womb
Me wiping the fluids off  so I could get a better look at each tiny piece of their sweet little bodies, fearfully and wonderfully made for sure, yes all the toes and fingers were in place, right down to each nail and earlobe..the wonder of a new being hidden up to the moment when they were placed in my arms...oh the beautiful wonder of it all..such a gift, each one changed my life radically, challenged me to grow and change who I was , humbled me, lifted me closer to Jesus as I realized I was again entrusted with another life to care for. Oh how it would cause me to praise my God, for the gift of carrying and birthing life, to be a woman..such a good thing ..Yes. New life..it is good and a reminder again that God has hope for our worlds future..He is still creating new life!

The Complications of washing your hands in modern society...

So now at work they have this motion sensor thing for the soap dispenser. Seriously??? oh my word. Already we had the sensor on the faucet. Will the water stay on when you want? no. It wants you to wave at it in one direction. Will it go off when you are done washing your hands? no it goes off when it decides, unless of course you get the screen wet that senses motion, then it runs until night fall. If that was not enough the paper towel dispenser is motion sensing as well. If you accidently wave your arm near the sensor while washing your hands, it will start giving you more paper towel. Ya. so it has its own brain and yours has been retired for this activity of drying your hands. The problem is you have to do way too much thinking to just wash hands and dry them. I have other things I want to be thinking about while I am doing a mindless task..now that is all shelved for the important task at hand. So about the sensor on the soap thing. This sensor is very particular, I mean REALLY particular. It wants you to wave at it in some certain geometric progression, I think. Unfortunately I have yet to figure out what that  is. Once I did it by accident but did not memorize my motions so there you have it. The soap came out in a burst all over the sink (I wasn't ready therefore did not have my hand properly positioned) This is a serious issue when you are a nurse and washing your hands is kind of a big deal. Now I have to open the door with the clean hand and go find my bottle of waterless hand wash to clean off my hands after using the bathroom..wow. I am so glad we have acquuired all these new and better ways of doing simple things. (she said sarcastically)

Sugar get behind me

So Sugar. It is not only the name of a dog I know..but it is this alluring substance that when once eaten I become under the spell of something I know not what. Whoever invented the processing of white sugar is probably going to hell or at least those who partake because after one has indulged, one goes through a reminder of what hell might be like. The high is very miniscule and pretty much once past the taste buds, eludes me. Then comes the feeling of not wanting to eat, deluding the participant into thinking they are being really good on their diet. But the finale of this small granule is one of emotions covering the full gamut, fury, depression, and God only knows what else before one again finds the even keel of a vegetable, meat and whole grain cuisine. Oh my. If that were not enough to cure one, but oh no!! one forgets like when having a baby and the delivery and how painful it was...all is forgotten till the next time and then yes. The light bulb goes on..Proverbs 5:4-13 describes sugar well:
But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
⁵ Her feet go down to death,
Her steps lay hold of hell.
⁶ Lest you ponder her path of life—
Her ways are unstable;
You do not know them.

⁷ Therefore hear me now, my children,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
⁸ Remove your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
⁹ Lest you give your honor to others,
And your years to the cruel one;
¹⁰ Lest aliens be filled with your wealth,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner;
¹¹ And you mourn at last,
When your flesh and your body are consumed,
¹² And say:
“How I have hated instruction,
And my heart despised correction!
¹³ I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!

So I believe the Bible offers an answer to this: REMOVE YOUR WAY FAR FROM HER.

I am going to do that tomorrow after I finish this bag of candy corn....

Going on an overnight

Giggles and Italian sodas in the car with Zach and Hannah
Isaac and Rachel waiting for surprises at the house.
The smell of moose stew mixed in with aromatic bee hives waiting to be rid of their honey
The woodstove cranking out heat with the hot glow of fire light streaming from its door
A long awaited chat from the hearts of friends, some much needed medicine for the soul.
Hunkering down to see the stars in my wood smoke smelling sleeping bag
Good night, sweet dreams....
Why did we wait so long? 

A gift in the storm

Arrows flying everywhere.
Did not know I could experience so many things in one short period of time that would make me cry out in pain. But it is the stuff of life in this world. Pain comes with the package. And so we endure or we fight, or we pay back or we struggle to forgive or we hide and cry and don't come out again for a long time.
Those options are not all the same and so many times we are doing all of the above in the same storm.
Such has been my choice of late..
But one day a brother humbly offered words of apology and grace that came like a beam of light into my world.. a lighthouse appeared and God used those humble words of one who had offended me to bring me the truth again. "Yes you are valuable on this planet" and not just to God.
You never know how your humble words will impact someone in trouble. You never know what little tiny piece of God inside you will touch another life in a profound way. Stay close to Him and you will change the world around you one life at a time...whether you are the lighthouse or the tossing ship in the storm...God makes it count!

The Stars

So over the years of living through the dark winters of the north, I developed a habit of looking to the stars. I made sure my bed was always near the window so I could see them, leaving the curtain open even on nights when the cold -40 temps would blow through the glass sending a chill through the bedroom. It always brought me into a conversation with my God. Northern Lights often joined the stars, waving and moving in greens and blues and pinks like an artist brush swinging freely over the canvas of a dark winter sky. It was my personal letter from God. "Dearest Barb, my girl, I am here. I didn't forget you or the pain or the promises you have waited for. I will hold you through this too, Love from your Father in heaven"...I loved the sky all those years and now as I am in a season of unknown future prospects in many areas of my life,  having just undergone many changes in a few short months, I am watching the sky again, looking for thoughts from my God because He always speaks. And the Northern Lights made their appearance this week and many cameras caught them while I dreamed away during those hours. But as I viewed the pix on line, I saw again, that He is speaking. "Dearest Barb, my girl, I am here. I have not forgotten, there is a good plan and promises are being kept for you..look up! see the beauty I have painted across your winter sky.love from your Father in heaven."  Yes. The winter is here, snow is imminent but I am looking to the stars to hear His voice again. He will answer. In Him I place my trust.

Northern Lights

Triumph do not deceive

Triumph do not lie to me;
The King He fought the war for me
The neck of him who hated me
Was crushed beneath the feet of Love

Triumph do not lie to me
To win is not for me to see
The scoundrel's fate sealed to be
For all eternity lost.

Triumph do not lie to me
For glory is donned by He
who loves
A higher purpose for me to see
The unlocking of hell's fate for all eternity

Triumph you are but for this
To see a life restored not missed
To see one turned from the abyss
And come to One who took hell's hiss.

Triumph is for Him alone
I only stepped into what was sown
By Blood and torment down to the bone
I did not earn or win alone

Triumph do not lie to me.
The scoundrel once was only me.
And now this scoundrel is set free. 

Risk

Seeming mortal wounds within my walls
Holding me captive while I am free
Lies tell the truth about reality
Until I no longer see.
Then a whisper comes to my soul
That I must dare to risk
I must jump across the moat of horror
The healer waits for me to decide.
Things are not as they appear.
What tale will I believe?
The welfare of my soul is in the answer.

Unknown

Unknown is rest in howling winds and tidal waves.
Unknown is reclining in bombing zones and war torn hearts
Unknown is quiet in fierce enemy surrounds.
But there is another Kingdom.
It is superior to these places. It overrides the verdict which says guilty.
It belongs only to those who go in upon bidding.
It is a place that does not make sense.
It is beneath the reign of One who knows.
It defies logic.
It defies pride.
It defies self reliance.
and yes.
it is available now.
Will you enter in without seeing it first?
I have.

Day by Day

Day by day
I take Your hand and see the path unfolding
The distant road is hazy with the fog of earthly shadows
But Your hand is strong and filled with love.
I will walk with assurance not seeing but the step ahead
Looking at You alone
Leaving behind the past and its mistakes
I am sold out to You
And now dreams come that I will make it after all
Passing through the storm now howling about my abode
Your promise speaking to my soul
You shall help me just at the break of dawn

Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning upon her beloved?

Wilderness..I picture a wide open space of land, with forests tall and dark and deep, and brooks running through spilling over rocks and branches fallen. I hear birds calling and the wind brushing through the trees above, while sun and clouds take turns chasing through the sky's expanse. Then I see myself there, on a rock by the creek, waiting and whispering unspoken words to the invisibile but very present Abba Father. And now listening because I have so many questions that have no answers and I am so knowing in this place of aloneness that I need my Father but have not always known Him the way I think HE is to be known. So many of His ways, I do not see yet. I wait. I know He will answer and come with comfort. He always has before and will again. He is faithful. He is the lover of my soul, but I have not trusted His love in every situation..so I sit, willing  my soul into His care. It is here I will lay down my life, my abilities, my ideas, my solutions. I lay it down now here. I stand naked of all the flesh armor I have contrived.
And I have this promise from Song of Solomon..it is a song of every one of His lovers.. the song of knowing Him, leaning on Him and coming out of the wilderness, not in my own strength or purpose but in His, completely enveloped by shalom. It is the treasure that I seek in this wilderness, to come out leaning on Him. Yes. I will wait and listen to what He will whisper to my heart.