Did you ever hear something from someone that just made your day..that changed your whole way of looking at something, that jerked you out of a very difficult thing you were going through and into a bran new way of seeing your way out of it?
Well we are in a situation in our world where we need to hear something very very good. Don't you agree?
If I hear one more piece of negative media, I am going to.....I don't know yet. but something radical.
Meanwhile, there are some writings in the Bible that are so fun to read on a day when you have read way too much news.
Here is one: "In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, for You will answer me." (Psalm 86)
That is a consoling thought. He will answer me when I call on Him. How about this one from Psalm 85 : "I will hear what God the Lord will speak, for He will speak peace to His people." That is just good news!!! I am all for His peace. When a Mom speaks peace to her child, that child calms down. They know their Mama knows all and that peace from her means peace. That child knows "I can not be afraid now, she has this under her control ..and I can stay here in peace." Finally, this one always makes me happy:" the way of the righteous (those made right with God by the sacrifice of Jesus) is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day!" Proverbs 4:18. The path you and I take when we are in Jesus, is just going to get brighter and brighter! I prefer to think about these things rather than the fiscal cliff, if you get my drift! Have a great day and if you get a moment, get your bible out and check out all those very very good somethings in there. It will make your day!
Friday, December 7, 2012
Lose weight and feel good while doing it..check out the information on CINCH
Shaklee Independent Distributor
I have used this since August of this year for breakfast and lunch. I have lost 14 # and all my cravings. I feel better and it was easy to lose. You might want to try this as well.
I have used this since August of this year for breakfast and lunch. I have lost 14 # and all my cravings. I feel better and it was easy to lose. You might want to try this as well.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Different Kind of Day
So I have new running shoes which I have needed forever now and finally indulged. I started power walking with a vengeance 2 weeks ago and low and behold, suddenly I am limping on one foot. Whatver. I am working a temp retail job and am on my feet nonstop all day. Have even lost weight. Wow. great timing. Hurting foot when I am on my feet all day every day. ha. Well, the day started out with not enough sleep and several bumps happened along the way and all I can say was it ended up being a different kind of day. The kind where you want to complain badly and whine and carry on but then for what purpose? I ask. So yea, feelings, sore foot and a variety of other not fun things but it ended up being a day where I had a very good chat with a very good friend who had very good thoughts and helped lift me out of the mire. Some days are like that. God heard my cry and answered me. And to top it off I made my own chocolate confection out of butter, honey and cocoa powder which soothed any weariness that was still lurking in the shadows. A different kind of day indeed.
WALK A MILE
You know we all think we know stuff and we all have these "opinions" that come to our mind as the "right" opinions of course. But have you ever really walked a mile in someone elses shoes? I mean really tried to imagine walking as they have walked? because if you have then you know you don't have enough information to do that. You don't know their history, their pain, their giftings, their weaknessess, their heart intentions, their struggles...really you don't. So when opinions otherwise known as judgements come to your mind about another human being. Cut it out. stop it. ignore it and don't heed it. Its accusatory nature will never help you or the one you have "opinions" about.
Its so much easiser to accuse someone else than to look at yourself truthfully and just take ownershihp of you regardless of the other. To quote a beloved author, don't listen to your emotions, they are secondary to the situation, just lean on the truth. This person needs love and you will benefit if you offer it. There is not a lot of love going around right now but a whole lot of judgement and opinions of others...let it go.
This is what Gods love looks like. It may experience great pain at the hand of the other, but it continues to believe the best about the other and assume the best. That they are doing the best they can given their life and what they are in right now. Dont worry, grace never hurt a soul. Trust me on this.
Its so much easiser to accuse someone else than to look at yourself truthfully and just take ownershihp of you regardless of the other. To quote a beloved author, don't listen to your emotions, they are secondary to the situation, just lean on the truth. This person needs love and you will benefit if you offer it. There is not a lot of love going around right now but a whole lot of judgement and opinions of others...let it go.
This is what Gods love looks like. It may experience great pain at the hand of the other, but it continues to believe the best about the other and assume the best. That they are doing the best they can given their life and what they are in right now. Dont worry, grace never hurt a soul. Trust me on this.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Waters of Meribah
"So he called the name of the place Massah and Meribah, because of the contention of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord saying "is the Lord among us or not?"
There are "waters of Meribah" that flow into our lives and they look like this. Circumstances come into your life and seem to stay for a while. They are not cool. They are inconvenient, painful, and lonely. You are there by yourself in them. They test what is in the heart. What comes out of one determines the near future and sometimes the far future. You start to say things about others, and yourselves and God when you are going through these waters. You want out now. You don't have control. It is a test of the heart I am telling you right now.
Passing the test looks like this: surrender all I want to the Lord, praise Him and worship for who He is. King, Creator, Lord, Father, Savior. No matter what comes, I give Him all. I surrender my wants and my needs to be met. I let go of everything that has to do with me for a minute and give it to Him.
Not passing looks like this: anger, bitterness, railing against God, contending with those who stand for the truth or who have authority over your life in some way. Its refusal to give God His due worship, and honor. Its wanting my way now. (been there myself)
We can go back and forth between these but the final heart condition in a place of trial and hardship will be who you really choose to be. It is a test of the heart.
Then in Psalm 81, it says " I proved you at the waters of Meribah..." The burden was removed, deliverance was given to those in trouble, in the place of thunder, their cries were heard and answered ... All this given to a people who were bitter, angry at Moses, and angry at God...He came through with His goodness. It was a test again. To pour out His loving nature on people undeserving, so typical of Him, to test them...their response is never mentioned. Apparently God wanted us to know, that in spite of our heart condition His goodness will continue to cover our life, always testing and inviting us into Throne room for relationship with Him.
But how much better the relationship with Him when I have not come up short in the trial, when my heart is comforted in the trial and His love experienced even before it passes, when I am surrendered to the process, and help is felt even while it is lasting so long. He loves us so much. Take courage you will not always be in the "waters of Meribah"...there is a place where your thirst will be quenched and relief is finally here. Look up, your redemption draws nigh.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Reactionary living
Reactionary living. I call this living the kind in which I have often found myself.
There is no purpose for the future like dreams or goals. Only this constant want to get out of what I am in now. mmmm. Where has that gotten me? well. what kind of future without this present dilemma do I really want? will I know it when I find it? Or am I more preoccupied with just any old relief will do as long as I am out of this present tense situation. I am depressed about the present, but then..what am I doing to change it? Usually nothing. I call this reactionary living. I am simply wanting the present pain to go away...but for what? to make room for something much worse. After all, am I just this being that is victim to one thing after another?? or is there something I could do differently so that I don't constantly react to life as it happens to me.
This is where I turned a corner and took a different route. I saw that if I wanted relief.. I had to get it for myself. Yes I prayed. Yes God is very active in my life. of course. But more than this. I had to do something. I saw that eventually. I had to move, I had to make an action toward something postitive. I had to decide what I DID want out of my life for the future not just what I DIDN'T want.
So yea. now. proactive is where its at. not reactive. oh and along this road, you have to stop caring what everyone else thinks. And that is all the wisdom this tired brain could come up with tonight. Adieu till next time.
There is no purpose for the future like dreams or goals. Only this constant want to get out of what I am in now. mmmm. Where has that gotten me? well. what kind of future without this present dilemma do I really want? will I know it when I find it? Or am I more preoccupied with just any old relief will do as long as I am out of this present tense situation. I am depressed about the present, but then..what am I doing to change it? Usually nothing. I call this reactionary living. I am simply wanting the present pain to go away...but for what? to make room for something much worse. After all, am I just this being that is victim to one thing after another?? or is there something I could do differently so that I don't constantly react to life as it happens to me.
This is where I turned a corner and took a different route. I saw that if I wanted relief.. I had to get it for myself. Yes I prayed. Yes God is very active in my life. of course. But more than this. I had to do something. I saw that eventually. I had to move, I had to make an action toward something postitive. I had to decide what I DID want out of my life for the future not just what I DIDN'T want.
So yea. now. proactive is where its at. not reactive. oh and along this road, you have to stop caring what everyone else thinks. And that is all the wisdom this tired brain could come up with tonight. Adieu till next time.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Another look at the Nation
Our country.. there are reasons we love this country.
But look again.
There are problems too. I know you probably looked at those.
One president cannot solve all the problems we have.
He is a man.
Whether or not you love this man, you should.
Because God made him and allowed him into the top office of our country.
So you can cut him down, criticize his wrong actions and rant and rave about him
Or you can pray for him that he will be the man God made him to be
That he will come into all the great things and wonderful destiny God planned for him when he was created in his mothers womb.
He is someone's son.
He is not an enemy. He is simply a man.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Do you want to be judged? do you act like a total loser some days?
If you said yes to the first question and no to the second, you are lying. :)
This nation is our problem and its also our very own country.
Act like you own it and be part of the solution.
Seek out what small part is yours.
We are not victims because our nation is in a pickle.
There is hope folks. The hope is in us!!! stir it up and lets pick ourselves up by the boostraps and move into a greater future which we get to help create!!!
But look again.
There are problems too. I know you probably looked at those.
One president cannot solve all the problems we have.
He is a man.
Whether or not you love this man, you should.
Because God made him and allowed him into the top office of our country.
So you can cut him down, criticize his wrong actions and rant and rave about him
Or you can pray for him that he will be the man God made him to be
That he will come into all the great things and wonderful destiny God planned for him when he was created in his mothers womb.
He is someone's son.
He is not an enemy. He is simply a man.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Do you want to be judged? do you act like a total loser some days?
If you said yes to the first question and no to the second, you are lying. :)
This nation is our problem and its also our very own country.
Act like you own it and be part of the solution.
Seek out what small part is yours.
We are not victims because our nation is in a pickle.
There is hope folks. The hope is in us!!! stir it up and lets pick ourselves up by the boostraps and move into a greater future which we get to help create!!!
Different than you think
The Father God is not like man.
His love burns stronger and stronger for us
He does not put us away for a while
like a piece of artwork placed in the attic
to take us out once a year
and place His loving gaze on us-no-
He holds us continually under His watchful, loving, parenting eye...
allowing us to fail and make mistakes and do wonderful things too
and always picking us up and washing the scrapes on our knees
Always trusting that what he put in us and started in us
He is bringing to perfection
and so we can rest because THAT kind of love
unlike man's love
That love never fails.
His love burns stronger and stronger for us
He does not put us away for a while
like a piece of artwork placed in the attic
to take us out once a year
and place His loving gaze on us-no-
He holds us continually under His watchful, loving, parenting eye...
allowing us to fail and make mistakes and do wonderful things too
and always picking us up and washing the scrapes on our knees
Always trusting that what he put in us and started in us
He is bringing to perfection
and so we can rest because THAT kind of love
unlike man's love
That love never fails.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
He Picked Me Up - Rhema Band - Kenneth Hagin (2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnKe1wQ7W4A
Kenneth Hagin gives an encouraging word to believers after this song is sung. Its worth listening to.
(that is if you need encouragement!!)
Kenneth Hagin gives an encouraging word to believers after this song is sung. Its worth listening to.
(that is if you need encouragement!!)
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Its what you make it.
So I find myself today in my Mom's home town, far from my own beloved Alaska, in a marine climate, and warm temps approaching the Thanksgiving holiday. This plan was a sudden plan and so Mom is spending the week with my brother in North Dakota as she could not change her flight and plans so late. I am starting a seasonal job very different from the career I have had all my adult life, while waiting on pending job offers at home. WOW. no snow, no cold, no familiar friends tradition and no daughter near by who is enjoying her new son only 3 wks old.
I could find myself quite nostalgic and longing...because I have a sentimental nature which borders on really ridiculous! but there are people here this week in this "foreign land" who need a touch of God's love and who have something for me to grow and learn from. There are shoppers here who need hope, light, and a friendly smile at a time of year when stress is high and money is tight.
It is a time for me to be quiet and reflect without demands of usual life and search out more of the God I love so much..Its a time to take stock, journal, blog, read, brush up on my business webinars and apply for more jobs. Its time to be quiet and make Christmas gifts for my 5 grandchildren and 6 young friends that I will call my neices and nephews.
So whether you are with friends or noone or enemies, you have a gift this week of life and what you bring to the table beside turkey and friends is you. And did I mention that what God brings to the table is exceedingly abundantly all that you ask or think?
Its all what you make it! Happy Thanksgiving!
I could find myself quite nostalgic and longing...because I have a sentimental nature which borders on really ridiculous! but there are people here this week in this "foreign land" who need a touch of God's love and who have something for me to grow and learn from. There are shoppers here who need hope, light, and a friendly smile at a time of year when stress is high and money is tight.
It is a time for me to be quiet and reflect without demands of usual life and search out more of the God I love so much..Its a time to take stock, journal, blog, read, brush up on my business webinars and apply for more jobs. Its time to be quiet and make Christmas gifts for my 5 grandchildren and 6 young friends that I will call my neices and nephews.
So whether you are with friends or noone or enemies, you have a gift this week of life and what you bring to the table beside turkey and friends is you. And did I mention that what God brings to the table is exceedingly abundantly all that you ask or think?
Its all what you make it! Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Recently Bound
Freedom or not.
What does it mean to you to be free?
So here are some of my rambling thoughts this morn about this over used word.
Freedom.
It was bought in war for this country, freedom to worship, speak, love, live, work as I please. I did not buy this. It was purchased for me with the blood of men and the loss of lives.
But at some point in my life, some things inside of me put me back into slavery...bound to others'opinons, bound to others' expectations, bound by my lack of confidence and dissappointment in what I saw in me, bound by my refusal to look at the good and continual obsession with the bad.
I am sure there is more but this is all that is coming to my mind. So to come into this new place of freedom personally, there was also a war to fight. It did not get handed to me. It is not a "free" gift! (this place of being free). I fought to be me, I paid dearly in more ways than I care to inumerate. And I must add I have no regrets in this for I found a treasure in the fight. (Me)
And thus this concept...what is freedom to you and what do you have to do to have it complete in your life? I would guess this is an ongoing process. I would guess the answers are not always the same.
Recently I found myself with a different freedom than I have ever had and a different kind than I had ever imagined. Suddenly, I found myself with no ties...free from all ties that would keep me in one place. Absolutely free to choose with no constraints. I am not sure I fought for this particular situation..it just landed in my lap. No relational ties, no job, no car, no permanent housing; Now this free state before me......what to do...what is inside of me?...what is the priority of my life? what is the immediate priority? how can I go for both of those? how can I see my material needs met while at the same time running after the dreams that previous ties have always constrained me from pursuing?
I don't know the answer to these questions but they are keeping me on my toes, excited, scared, and in awe of what I find within....Freedom.. more understanding to come in the near future. Stand by for updates until we meet again....
What does it mean to you to be free?
So here are some of my rambling thoughts this morn about this over used word.
Freedom.
It was bought in war for this country, freedom to worship, speak, love, live, work as I please. I did not buy this. It was purchased for me with the blood of men and the loss of lives.
But at some point in my life, some things inside of me put me back into slavery...bound to others'opinons, bound to others' expectations, bound by my lack of confidence and dissappointment in what I saw in me, bound by my refusal to look at the good and continual obsession with the bad.
I am sure there is more but this is all that is coming to my mind. So to come into this new place of freedom personally, there was also a war to fight. It did not get handed to me. It is not a "free" gift! (this place of being free). I fought to be me, I paid dearly in more ways than I care to inumerate. And I must add I have no regrets in this for I found a treasure in the fight. (Me)
And thus this concept...what is freedom to you and what do you have to do to have it complete in your life? I would guess this is an ongoing process. I would guess the answers are not always the same.
Recently I found myself with a different freedom than I have ever had and a different kind than I had ever imagined. Suddenly, I found myself with no ties...free from all ties that would keep me in one place. Absolutely free to choose with no constraints. I am not sure I fought for this particular situation..it just landed in my lap. No relational ties, no job, no car, no permanent housing; Now this free state before me......what to do...what is inside of me?...what is the priority of my life? what is the immediate priority? how can I go for both of those? how can I see my material needs met while at the same time running after the dreams that previous ties have always constrained me from pursuing?
I don't know the answer to these questions but they are keeping me on my toes, excited, scared, and in awe of what I find within....Freedom.. more understanding to come in the near future. Stand by for updates until we meet again....
Friday, November 16, 2012
Giggling with God
Why do I giggle? Here is why..David must have had such moments while shepherding the sheep or hiding in caves with his buddies, or fighting battles or even recieving forgiveness after totally blowing it..
Your strength, God, is the king’s strength.
Helped, he’s hollering Hosannas.
You gave him exactly what he wanted;
you didn’t hold back.
You filled his arms with gifts;
you gave him a right royal welcome.
He wanted a good life; you gave it to him,
and then made it a long life as a bonus.
You lifted him high and bright as a cumulus cloud,
then dressed him in rainbow colors.
You pile blessings on him;
you make him glad when you smile.
Is it any wonder the king loves God?
that he’s sticking with the Best?
Psalm 21
When I am helped I am shouting hosannas too! ha. He gives me exactly what I want..cannot tell you how many times that has happened. HE does not hold back. OH my gosh. Too much gushing goodness coming from Him. He does not play favorites either. When I open up and trust Him like a little one, oh gosh, HE comes through with such goodness. He lifts me high, piles on the blessings and His smile makes me glad... no more than that. They makes me giggle!
Your strength, God, is the king’s strength.
Helped, he’s hollering Hosannas.
You gave him exactly what he wanted;
you didn’t hold back.
You filled his arms with gifts;
you gave him a right royal welcome.
He wanted a good life; you gave it to him,
and then made it a long life as a bonus.
You lifted him high and bright as a cumulus cloud,
then dressed him in rainbow colors.
You pile blessings on him;
you make him glad when you smile.
Is it any wonder the king loves God?
that he’s sticking with the Best?
Psalm 21
When I am helped I am shouting hosannas too! ha. He gives me exactly what I want..cannot tell you how many times that has happened. HE does not hold back. OH my gosh. Too much gushing goodness coming from Him. He does not play favorites either. When I open up and trust Him like a little one, oh gosh, HE comes through with such goodness. He lifts me high, piles on the blessings and His smile makes me glad... no more than that. They makes me giggle!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
BAD NEWS
So this blog is not really about bad news but I notice that more people read the negative titled blogs than the positive ones. :)
But it can be bad news, if you don't pay attention to what is making your heart happy. I mean every day, all day happy.
I am discovering this in a new way right now so don't count me an expert.
But when you feel cranky, disagreeable or irritable..ask yourself this question:
Was there a recent moment when I ignored my heart's leanings and instead bent to some pressure outside of me, either from other people or from within?
Mmm. Ignoring your heart and its desires. .... how often do you do this? and then you have to ask why?
What is driving you? are you driving you? or are a lot of outside pressures driving you?
I think answers to these questions will begin to show you where you priortize your life activities.
For an example, I have to say as a young woman, I felt driven by everyone's needs but mine. I felt it was selfish to focus on mine and saw how destructive selfishness was in others and decided against that option for me. But as a result, many of my own personal needs went unmet. There were apparently some missing facts in my thinking.
Bad news: is when you don't listen to what you need, when you ignore the power within you to take care of you. Life is tough enough some days without you not taking care of you... just a thought.
But it can be bad news, if you don't pay attention to what is making your heart happy. I mean every day, all day happy.
I am discovering this in a new way right now so don't count me an expert.
But when you feel cranky, disagreeable or irritable..ask yourself this question:
Was there a recent moment when I ignored my heart's leanings and instead bent to some pressure outside of me, either from other people or from within?
Mmm. Ignoring your heart and its desires. .... how often do you do this? and then you have to ask why?
What is driving you? are you driving you? or are a lot of outside pressures driving you?
I think answers to these questions will begin to show you where you priortize your life activities.
For an example, I have to say as a young woman, I felt driven by everyone's needs but mine. I felt it was selfish to focus on mine and saw how destructive selfishness was in others and decided against that option for me. But as a result, many of my own personal needs went unmet. There were apparently some missing facts in my thinking.
Bad news: is when you don't listen to what you need, when you ignore the power within you to take care of you. Life is tough enough some days without you not taking care of you... just a thought.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Angry at God
Short note.
I am running into a lot of people who are angry at God....Christians.
Its a temptation. But its pride. Pretty simple.
He is not the enemy in your life.
He is the Savior.
Just a thought.
Just let it go.
Let go of what you want
when you want it
and how you want it.
You are simply His creation.
He is God.
Honor Him, Fear Him. Worship Him.
He is worthy.
I am running into a lot of people who are angry at God....Christians.
Its a temptation. But its pride. Pretty simple.
He is not the enemy in your life.
He is the Savior.
Just a thought.
Just let it go.
Let go of what you want
when you want it
and how you want it.
You are simply His creation.
He is God.
Honor Him, Fear Him. Worship Him.
He is worthy.
In Storms
One thing I have learned in my life is this:
In storms there is only one thing to do.
And it what David did in the Psalms...he prayed:
"Lord, my heart is not haughty,
Nor my eyes lofty.
Neither do I concern myself with great matters,
Nor with things too profound for me.
In storms there is only one thing to do.
And it what David did in the Psalms...he prayed:
"Lord, my heart is not haughty,
Nor my eyes lofty.
Neither do I concern myself with great matters,
Nor with things too profound for me.
Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul,
Like a weaned child with his mother;
Like a weaned child is my soul within me.
Like a weaned child with his mother;
Like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
From this time forth and forever."
From this time forth and forever."
This is so powerful because when I am hurting and have no answers, the first thing I want to do is get angry. But to get angry at God is a sure way to block myself from receiving His help or hearing His voice. Its the last thing I really want to do: biting the hand that feeds you.
The fact is we do find ourselves in lots of troubles in this life and some are really really bad. It is also a fact that we don't find instant relief many times. SO what am I to do???
Still my soul like a weaned child on its mothers lap. Just be still. Look at Him. Look for Him. Wait on Him. Worship Him. Love Him. Just wait and be still.
He won't fail to come and answer. He will send help. He is the help. He is the solution. Again you will see the promises He has made fulfilled in your life. He promised and He does not lie.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Election of a President
In past elections, I don't really remember so much animosity and anger between people over who they were going to vote for. The candidates this time also threw mud nonstop. Now we have a president and a bunch of people who have strong feelings against all those who don't agree with them. Not cool and kind of sad that we could not rise to a better standard than this in our behavior toward one another.
But the good news is that our hope, future and how our life unfolds is not dependent on government, Presidents or anyone else for that matter. Our life is a matter between us and God. It has to do with what we make of the lot handed to us. I am not entitled to anything handed out by a man or a system. I am on the other hand eligible for an inheritance which was purchased by Jesus' death. All those promises in the Bible for those who believe on Him are yes and amen. Our Government does not make as big a difference as our Covenant. Whose your Papa? its not the President. So if you are overjoyed or disappointed in tonight's election results, you missed the point. We still have the same country, the same problems and the same God. Do you see some problems in our beloved America? then you are part of the solution. So remember the truth : Christ in You is the hope of Glory!
But the good news is that our hope, future and how our life unfolds is not dependent on government, Presidents or anyone else for that matter. Our life is a matter between us and God. It has to do with what we make of the lot handed to us. I am not entitled to anything handed out by a man or a system. I am on the other hand eligible for an inheritance which was purchased by Jesus' death. All those promises in the Bible for those who believe on Him are yes and amen. Our Government does not make as big a difference as our Covenant. Whose your Papa? its not the President. So if you are overjoyed or disappointed in tonight's election results, you missed the point. We still have the same country, the same problems and the same God. Do you see some problems in our beloved America? then you are part of the solution. So remember the truth : Christ in You is the hope of Glory!
Just fix me already.
Relationships. Wow. They can be wonderful and complicated and joyful and miserable. What to do, what to do?
Just fix me already, I say to myself. This one thing I know. I can control me. I can't control you or him or her. That is their job. I can only do me. I have to be my best friend, by best counselor, my best cheerleader. (of course not excluding God at all)
But I have to love me. Accept me. And be kind to me! its so key to relationships. Who else will take care of your heart like you can? This is not to say keep everyone out of that arena of taking care of your heart because friends and those in covenant with you may often be doing this with you.
So back to the issue at hand.. Example: You have a conflict, an unresolvable issue, an unlovely attitude or behavior in someone who is in relationship with you. (at work, at home, in friendship)It is hurting you, in small ways or huge...
In this kind of situation, in my former life, I liked to analyze, scrutinize come up with a solution for that person (who I think is my problem) and then fix them. Yea. that did not work out for me. ha.
So then I started to see ..that was an impossible assignment. If you don't believe me, try it.
Then a famous line came into my consciousness (thank you Danny Silk) and it was this:
"What are you going to do?" this is a question you ask you. You have control over you. You get to choose what YOU will do. only. Its so comforting and freeing and so fun to know this. I can only do me. I cannot do you. YAY!!!!
So me and God, we are working on that department. What I cannot do in me, He can. But I can control me, my choices, my actions...I get to choose. I don't have to fear. Relationships often ebb and flow like the sea.. we are human..some go out to sea and never come back...but Not to FEAR!! no fear here. Just control me. Its more important to be true to you and who you are created to be than anything. If you have a covenant with a person and this little blip comes onto your horizon, then God is also working on all those factors you have no ability to control. I will be happy now, I will focus on me. "Barb, what are you going to do?" I ask myself. Just fix me already..is my prayer to Him.. and He is doing just that one relationship baby step at a time...After all He has all eternity. :)
Just fix me already, I say to myself. This one thing I know. I can control me. I can't control you or him or her. That is their job. I can only do me. I have to be my best friend, by best counselor, my best cheerleader. (of course not excluding God at all)
But I have to love me. Accept me. And be kind to me! its so key to relationships. Who else will take care of your heart like you can? This is not to say keep everyone out of that arena of taking care of your heart because friends and those in covenant with you may often be doing this with you.
So back to the issue at hand.. Example: You have a conflict, an unresolvable issue, an unlovely attitude or behavior in someone who is in relationship with you. (at work, at home, in friendship)It is hurting you, in small ways or huge...
In this kind of situation, in my former life, I liked to analyze, scrutinize come up with a solution for that person (who I think is my problem) and then fix them. Yea. that did not work out for me. ha.
So then I started to see ..that was an impossible assignment. If you don't believe me, try it.
Then a famous line came into my consciousness (thank you Danny Silk) and it was this:
"What are you going to do?" this is a question you ask you. You have control over you. You get to choose what YOU will do. only. Its so comforting and freeing and so fun to know this. I can only do me. I cannot do you. YAY!!!!
So me and God, we are working on that department. What I cannot do in me, He can. But I can control me, my choices, my actions...I get to choose. I don't have to fear. Relationships often ebb and flow like the sea.. we are human..some go out to sea and never come back...but Not to FEAR!! no fear here. Just control me. Its more important to be true to you and who you are created to be than anything. If you have a covenant with a person and this little blip comes onto your horizon, then God is also working on all those factors you have no ability to control. I will be happy now, I will focus on me. "Barb, what are you going to do?" I ask myself. Just fix me already..is my prayer to Him.. and He is doing just that one relationship baby step at a time...After all He has all eternity. :)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Are you at the end of something?
Are you at the end of you?
And all the things you usually do?
Do you find its all washing out
And filling your life with pain and doubt?
Are you at the end of all the stuff?
Of things that are hard and very rough?
Are you asking why and when and how
And hearing nothing then or now?
Is the pain you feel too much to bear?
Does life suddenly seem unfair?
Have all the friends gone away
And left you with your desperate day?
Are you finding you can't stay?
On the path of endless delay?
Do you not see the hope?
And feel you can no longer cope?
If yes to any or all of these
Then what do you need for it to cease?
Its going to be ok, I know.
Because you see I have been this low.
When all my world seemed dark as black
and it was like I was off the track
That failure and fate had cast the lot
And the enemies won that I had fought
I have seen my strength so spent
And the next step seemed in hard cement.
I have been to the end of me
And did not know what would set me free.
But then the pain of labor ceased
Relief it came with new life released
The cry of newness heralded a change
Something else had been arranged.
So what I thought was the final end
Was the birthing of a God send.
Something came in the stead of pain
Life was richer for the gain
Could not see how it would be
Some midwife came and carried me
Who would think the sun could rise
In such a dark night to my eyes?
If you are here in such a place
Look up to see that loving Face
Who will carry you until the end
Which is the beginning not merely a mend.
Hang on oh suffering lonely one
Tossed in tempest sore and done
For you will come out knowing you could,
This too shall come to good.
And all the things you usually do?
Do you find its all washing out
And filling your life with pain and doubt?
Are you at the end of all the stuff?
Of things that are hard and very rough?
Are you asking why and when and how
And hearing nothing then or now?
Is the pain you feel too much to bear?
Does life suddenly seem unfair?
Have all the friends gone away
And left you with your desperate day?
Are you finding you can't stay?
On the path of endless delay?
Do you not see the hope?
And feel you can no longer cope?
If yes to any or all of these
Then what do you need for it to cease?
Its going to be ok, I know.
Because you see I have been this low.
When all my world seemed dark as black
and it was like I was off the track
That failure and fate had cast the lot
And the enemies won that I had fought
I have seen my strength so spent
And the next step seemed in hard cement.
I have been to the end of me
And did not know what would set me free.
But then the pain of labor ceased
Relief it came with new life released
The cry of newness heralded a change
Something else had been arranged.
So what I thought was the final end
Was the birthing of a God send.
Something came in the stead of pain
Life was richer for the gain
Could not see how it would be
Some midwife came and carried me
Who would think the sun could rise
In such a dark night to my eyes?
If you are here in such a place
Look up to see that loving Face
Who will carry you until the end
Which is the beginning not merely a mend.
Hang on oh suffering lonely one
Tossed in tempest sore and done
For you will come out knowing you could,
This too shall come to good.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
New Season .. ?
A new season? really God? what if I don't think I am ready? Yes, I know He laughs at me with all my commentary about the life I lead. Seriously, I did not expect so many changes to come at once but yes here I am with lots of options. More options than I had counted on. People keep asking me "what do you want to do??" or others are saying things like "you should leave Alaska, its no good up there" ..or "you should do such and such because you would be happier doing that" ..so lots of questions and suggestions coming my way but I have no answeres...
So me and God are hanging out this week, at a church I love, that has a prayer room there, and beautiful grounds and weather to go with it! my hope is that I will hear Him and His leading by the end of the week...I know this one thing: whatever unknown lies ahead, He is in it and so it will be of course: just fine!!
So me and God are hanging out this week, at a church I love, that has a prayer room there, and beautiful grounds and weather to go with it! my hope is that I will hear Him and His leading by the end of the week...I know this one thing: whatever unknown lies ahead, He is in it and so it will be of course: just fine!!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Alaska Ramblings
Severe winters with -50 degrees and dark all day all the way to 90 degree summer days with all night daylight...it is a place of contrast. It can be the loneliest place in the world and it can be the place where you know so many people you can't remember all their names! But this state, this city it is part me. My name is written in the land. It is my land.
God is here in this land. He beckons and tries and calls in this place. People come here and end up seeking Him and often desperate for Him. In this place, you find you need Him. You need Him just to do life.
From keeping winter gear in your car at all times, to plugging in your car engine below zero temps, to having to rush right home from the store before your produce freezes in the car.
~ Avoiding frostbite while you are outdoors;
~stopping at all unattended accidents because people can die of hypothermia without even being injured;
~ dealing with the lack of daylight in winter and how it affects your moods and the moods around you ~Driving in ice, snow, at such a wide variance of temps, and coping with town newcomers who don't know how to drive here
~ Getting your winter tires on in October and keeping antifreeze in your gas tank when it drops below zero
Yea, I do life here and I like the challenge but here is also a land of broken hearted rejects of society. Mixed in are the Alaskan Native People. Someone has to bring joy and hope to this land and I think I am one of those someones. I know I am. I have prayed over this land for 34 years, pondered the prophecies about Alaska, and listened to those who have gone before.
There is a grand plan for this place in God's scheme of things, and I for one want to be a player! Oh Alaska... you have captured me, I have struggled and yielded many times..but mostly it always comes back to one thing. I love this land and its people and I always will. Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Unknown
I long to see so far ahead
I'm sure I need the assurance
But the path is full of such sharp corners
The foggy, blurred road in the distance
So I shirk and hide and wait; I think
it will save my way from harm
But soon I see through the misty view
I must go on and on
For I was made for this, for risk
To discover all that is within
To find the treasure in the journey
To not lose in this life but win
I hesitate and search for one to come along
But none go this way today
I strive to win and yet dread going wrong
The struggle brings delay
But the way stays, beckoning onward
Steady, fixed, calling me to soar
I have been here times before
And found the strength when I needed more.
It is faith that propels me forth again
the mountains and trials shall have to give
I am meant to not see past the bend
and trust in the one who made me live.
Fear will be my conquered foe
In trust I push into unseen ways
It is time to rise from ashes
And run my path into future days.
I'm sure I need the assurance
But the path is full of such sharp corners
The foggy, blurred road in the distance
So I shirk and hide and wait; I think
it will save my way from harm
But soon I see through the misty view
I must go on and on
For I was made for this, for risk
To discover all that is within
To find the treasure in the journey
To not lose in this life but win
I hesitate and search for one to come along
But none go this way today
I strive to win and yet dread going wrong
The struggle brings delay
But the way stays, beckoning onward
Steady, fixed, calling me to soar
I have been here times before
And found the strength when I needed more.
It is faith that propels me forth again
the mountains and trials shall have to give
I am meant to not see past the bend
and trust in the one who made me live.
Fear will be my conquered foe
In trust I push into unseen ways
It is time to rise from ashes
And run my path into future days.
God's House
His House, its me. He is here. Being with Him. It's all that matters. It's why I was born. To be next to Him, to experience Him. To know Him, to love Him, to be loved by Him. It's all that really makes this life so amazing. It's the only way to let the others know about Him and know Him is to stay here in His company, fellowshipping with Him..Its why we are alive!
Hard Things
When you come into the world you find out right away...
Hard things come in life
You go through your own childhood world and discover
Hard things come in life.
You dream away your fears or
live in fear of the next hard thing
Then adulthood comes and life brings things you never thought of
and you know more than ever hard things come in life.
Now you have choices.
You many not know this, because sometimes a hurricane comes into your life
and all the hard things up to that point seem like nothing
But there is Someone who has set you up to win.
Yes the hard things, He knows about them and they are to help you grow.
When He is there, you can find comfort in the rough spots because
hard things come in life
But they were never meant to bring you down,
The hard things, they are meant to help you soar.
Hard things come in life
You go through your own childhood world and discover
Hard things come in life.
You dream away your fears or
live in fear of the next hard thing
Then adulthood comes and life brings things you never thought of
and you know more than ever hard things come in life.
Now you have choices.
You many not know this, because sometimes a hurricane comes into your life
and all the hard things up to that point seem like nothing
But there is Someone who has set you up to win.
Yes the hard things, He knows about them and they are to help you grow.
When He is there, you can find comfort in the rough spots because
hard things come in life
But they were never meant to bring you down,
The hard things, they are meant to help you soar.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
New life once again....
A grandson born in his own home tonight. Relief~ almost 2 weeks late.
Brings me back to the moments when I met each of my children.
Their eyes open in wonder at the new world out of the womb
Me wiping the fluids off so I could get a better look at each tiny piece of their sweet little bodies, fearfully and wonderfully made for sure, yes all the toes and fingers were in place, right down to each nail and earlobe..the wonder of a new being hidden up to the moment when they were placed in my arms...oh the beautiful wonder of it all..such a gift, each one changed my life radically, challenged me to grow and change who I was , humbled me, lifted me closer to Jesus as I realized I was again entrusted with another life to care for. Oh how it would cause me to praise my God, for the gift of carrying and birthing life, to be a woman..such a good thing ..Yes. New life..it is good and a reminder again that God has hope for our worlds future..He is still creating new life!
Brings me back to the moments when I met each of my children.
Their eyes open in wonder at the new world out of the womb
Me wiping the fluids off so I could get a better look at each tiny piece of their sweet little bodies, fearfully and wonderfully made for sure, yes all the toes and fingers were in place, right down to each nail and earlobe..the wonder of a new being hidden up to the moment when they were placed in my arms...oh the beautiful wonder of it all..such a gift, each one changed my life radically, challenged me to grow and change who I was , humbled me, lifted me closer to Jesus as I realized I was again entrusted with another life to care for. Oh how it would cause me to praise my God, for the gift of carrying and birthing life, to be a woman..such a good thing ..Yes. New life..it is good and a reminder again that God has hope for our worlds future..He is still creating new life!
The Complications of washing your hands in modern society...
So now at work they have this motion sensor thing for the soap dispenser. Seriously??? oh my word. Already we had the sensor on the faucet. Will the water stay on when you want? no. It wants you to wave at it in one direction. Will it go off when you are done washing your hands? no it goes off when it decides, unless of course you get the screen wet that senses motion, then it runs until night fall. If that was not enough the paper towel dispenser is motion sensing as well. If you accidently wave your arm near the sensor while washing your hands, it will start giving you more paper towel. Ya. so it has its own brain and yours has been retired for this activity of drying your hands. The problem is you have to do way too much thinking to just wash hands and dry them. I have other things I want to be thinking about while I am doing a mindless task..now that is all shelved for the important task at hand. So about the sensor on the soap thing. This sensor is very particular, I mean REALLY particular. It wants you to wave at it in some certain geometric progression, I think. Unfortunately I have yet to figure out what that is. Once I did it by accident but did not memorize my motions so there you have it. The soap came out in a burst all over the sink (I wasn't ready therefore did not have my hand properly positioned) This is a serious issue when you are a nurse and washing your hands is kind of a big deal. Now I have to open the door with the clean hand and go find my bottle of waterless hand wash to clean off my hands after using the bathroom..wow. I am so glad we have acquuired all these new and better ways of doing simple things. (she said sarcastically)
Sugar get behind me
So Sugar. It is not only the name of a dog I know..but it is this alluring substance that when once eaten I become under the spell of something I know not what. Whoever invented the processing of white sugar is probably going to hell or at least those who partake because after one has indulged, one goes through a reminder of what hell might be like. The high is very miniscule and pretty much once past the taste buds, eludes me. Then comes the feeling of not wanting to eat, deluding the participant into thinking they are being really good on their diet. But the finale of this small granule is one of emotions covering the full gamut, fury, depression, and God only knows what else before one again finds the even keel of a vegetable, meat and whole grain cuisine. Oh my. If that were not enough to cure one, but oh no!! one forgets like when having a baby and the delivery and how painful it was...all is forgotten till the next time and then yes. The light bulb goes on..Proverbs 5:4-13 describes sugar well:
But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death,
Her steps lay hold of hell.
6 Lest you ponder her path of life—
Her ways are unstable;
You do not know them.
But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death,
Her steps lay hold of hell.
6 Lest you ponder her path of life—
Her ways are unstable;
You do not know them.
7 Therefore hear me now, my children,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Remove your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
9 Lest you give your honor to others,
And your years to the cruel one;
10 Lest aliens be filled with your wealth,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner;
11 And you mourn at last,
When your flesh and your body are consumed,
12 And say:
“How I have hated instruction,
And my heart despised correction!
13 I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Remove your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
9 Lest you give your honor to others,
And your years to the cruel one;
10 Lest aliens be filled with your wealth,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner;
11 And you mourn at last,
When your flesh and your body are consumed,
12 And say:
“How I have hated instruction,
And my heart despised correction!
13 I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!
So I believe the Bible offers an answer to this: REMOVE YOUR WAY FAR FROM HER.
I am going to do that tomorrow after I finish this bag of candy corn....
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Going on an overnight
Giggles and Italian sodas in the car with Zach and Hannah
Isaac and Rachel waiting for surprises at the house.
The smell of moose stew mixed in with aromatic bee hives waiting to be rid of their honey
The woodstove cranking out heat with the hot glow of fire light streaming from its door
A long awaited chat from the hearts of friends, some much needed medicine for the soul.
Hunkering down to see the stars in my wood smoke smelling sleeping bag
Good night, sweet dreams....
Why did we wait so long?
Isaac and Rachel waiting for surprises at the house.
The smell of moose stew mixed in with aromatic bee hives waiting to be rid of their honey
The woodstove cranking out heat with the hot glow of fire light streaming from its door
A long awaited chat from the hearts of friends, some much needed medicine for the soul.
Hunkering down to see the stars in my wood smoke smelling sleeping bag
Good night, sweet dreams....
Why did we wait so long?
A gift in the storm
Arrows flying everywhere.
Did not know I could experience so many things in one short period of time that would make me cry out in pain. But it is the stuff of life in this world. Pain comes with the package. And so we endure or we fight, or we pay back or we struggle to forgive or we hide and cry and don't come out again for a long time.
Those options are not all the same and so many times we are doing all of the above in the same storm.
Such has been my choice of late..
But one day a brother humbly offered words of apology and grace that came like a beam of light into my world.. a lighthouse appeared and God used those humble words of one who had offended me to bring me the truth again. "Yes you are valuable on this planet" and not just to God.
You never know how your humble words will impact someone in trouble. You never know what little tiny piece of God inside you will touch another life in a profound way. Stay close to Him and you will change the world around you one life at a time...whether you are the lighthouse or the tossing ship in the storm...God makes it count!
Did not know I could experience so many things in one short period of time that would make me cry out in pain. But it is the stuff of life in this world. Pain comes with the package. And so we endure or we fight, or we pay back or we struggle to forgive or we hide and cry and don't come out again for a long time.
Those options are not all the same and so many times we are doing all of the above in the same storm.
Such has been my choice of late..
But one day a brother humbly offered words of apology and grace that came like a beam of light into my world.. a lighthouse appeared and God used those humble words of one who had offended me to bring me the truth again. "Yes you are valuable on this planet" and not just to God.
You never know how your humble words will impact someone in trouble. You never know what little tiny piece of God inside you will touch another life in a profound way. Stay close to Him and you will change the world around you one life at a time...whether you are the lighthouse or the tossing ship in the storm...God makes it count!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
The Stars
So over the years of living through the dark winters of the north, I developed a habit of looking to the stars. I made sure my bed was always near the window so I could see them, leaving the curtain open even on nights when the cold -40 temps would blow through the glass sending a chill through the bedroom. It always brought me into a conversation with my God. Northern Lights often joined the stars, waving and moving in greens and blues and pinks like an artist brush swinging freely over the canvas of a dark winter sky. It was my personal letter from God. "Dearest Barb, my girl, I am here. I didn't forget you or the pain or the promises you have waited for. I will hold you through this too, Love from your Father in heaven"...I loved the sky all those years and now as I am in a season of unknown future prospects in many areas of my life, having just undergone many changes in a few short months, I am watching the sky again, looking for thoughts from my God because He always speaks. And the Northern Lights made their appearance this week and many cameras caught them while I dreamed away during those hours. But as I viewed the pix on line, I saw again, that He is speaking. "Dearest Barb, my girl, I am here. I have not forgotten, there is a good plan and promises are being kept for you..look up! see the beauty I have painted across your winter sky.love from your Father in heaven." Yes. The winter is here, snow is imminent but I am looking to the stars to hear His voice again. He will answer. In Him I place my trust.
Northern Lights
Northern Lights
Friday, October 12, 2012
Triumph do not deceive
Triumph do not lie to me;
The King He fought the war for me
The neck of him who hated me
Was crushed beneath the feet of Love
Triumph do not lie to me
To win is not for me to see
The scoundrel's fate sealed to be
For all eternity lost.
Triumph do not lie to me
For glory is donned by He
who loves
A higher purpose for me to see
The unlocking of hell's fate for all eternity
Triumph you are but for this
To see a life restored not missed
To see one turned from the abyss
And come to One who took hell's hiss.
Triumph is for Him alone
I only stepped into what was sown
By Blood and torment down to the bone
I did not earn or win alone
Triumph do not lie to me.
The scoundrel once was only me.
And now this scoundrel is set free.
The King He fought the war for me
The neck of him who hated me
Was crushed beneath the feet of Love
Triumph do not lie to me
To win is not for me to see
The scoundrel's fate sealed to be
For all eternity lost.
Triumph do not lie to me
For glory is donned by He
who loves
A higher purpose for me to see
The unlocking of hell's fate for all eternity
Triumph you are but for this
To see a life restored not missed
To see one turned from the abyss
And come to One who took hell's hiss.
Triumph is for Him alone
I only stepped into what was sown
By Blood and torment down to the bone
I did not earn or win alone
Triumph do not lie to me.
The scoundrel once was only me.
And now this scoundrel is set free.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Risk
Seeming mortal wounds within my walls
Holding me captive while I am free
Lies tell the truth about reality
Until I no longer see.
Then a whisper comes to my soul
That I must dare to risk
I must jump across the moat of horror
The healer waits for me to decide.
Things are not as they appear.
What tale will I believe?
The welfare of my soul is in the answer.
Holding me captive while I am free
Lies tell the truth about reality
Until I no longer see.
Then a whisper comes to my soul
That I must dare to risk
I must jump across the moat of horror
The healer waits for me to decide.
Things are not as they appear.
What tale will I believe?
The welfare of my soul is in the answer.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Unknown
Unknown is rest in howling winds and tidal waves.
Unknown is reclining in bombing zones and war torn hearts
Unknown is quiet in fierce enemy surrounds.
But there is another Kingdom.
It is superior to these places. It overrides the verdict which says guilty.
It belongs only to those who go in upon bidding.
It is a place that does not make sense.
It is beneath the reign of One who knows.
It defies logic.
It defies pride.
It defies self reliance.
and yes.
it is available now.
Will you enter in without seeing it first?
I have.
Unknown is reclining in bombing zones and war torn hearts
Unknown is quiet in fierce enemy surrounds.
But there is another Kingdom.
It is superior to these places. It overrides the verdict which says guilty.
It belongs only to those who go in upon bidding.
It is a place that does not make sense.
It is beneath the reign of One who knows.
It defies logic.
It defies pride.
It defies self reliance.
and yes.
it is available now.
Will you enter in without seeing it first?
I have.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Day by Day
Day by day
I take Your hand and see the path unfolding
The distant road is hazy with the fog of earthly shadows
But Your hand is strong and filled with love.
I will walk with assurance not seeing but the step ahead
Looking at You alone
Leaving behind the past and its mistakes
I am sold out to You
And now dreams come that I will make it after all
Passing through the storm now howling about my abode
Your promise speaking to my soul
You shall help me just at the break of dawn
I take Your hand and see the path unfolding
The distant road is hazy with the fog of earthly shadows
But Your hand is strong and filled with love.
I will walk with assurance not seeing but the step ahead
Looking at You alone
Leaving behind the past and its mistakes
I am sold out to You
And now dreams come that I will make it after all
Passing through the storm now howling about my abode
Your promise speaking to my soul
You shall help me just at the break of dawn
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning upon her beloved?
Wilderness..I picture a wide open space of land, with forests tall and dark and deep, and brooks running through spilling over rocks and branches fallen. I hear birds calling and the wind brushing through the trees above, while sun and clouds take turns chasing through the sky's expanse. Then I see myself there, on a rock by the creek, waiting and whispering unspoken words to the invisibile but very present Abba Father. And now listening because I have so many questions that have no answers and I am so knowing in this place of aloneness that I need my Father but have not always known Him the way I think HE is to be known. So many of His ways, I do not see yet. I wait. I know He will answer and come with comfort. He always has before and will again. He is faithful. He is the lover of my soul, but I have not trusted His love in every situation..so I sit, willing my soul into His care. It is here I will lay down my life, my abilities, my ideas, my solutions. I lay it down now here. I stand naked of all the flesh armor I have contrived.
And I have this promise from Song of Solomon..it is a song of every one of His lovers.. the song of knowing Him, leaning on Him and coming out of the wilderness, not in my own strength or purpose but in His, completely enveloped by shalom. It is the treasure that I seek in this wilderness, to come out leaning on Him. Yes. I will wait and listen to what He will whisper to my heart.
And I have this promise from Song of Solomon..it is a song of every one of His lovers.. the song of knowing Him, leaning on Him and coming out of the wilderness, not in my own strength or purpose but in His, completely enveloped by shalom. It is the treasure that I seek in this wilderness, to come out leaning on Him. Yes. I will wait and listen to what He will whisper to my heart.
Friday, September 21, 2012
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE CRANKY
So, I am cranky today. In fact all week to be absolutely honest about it. Yes. Its true. "Pollyanna" has bad days or weeks as well. I wanted to hurt back. I wanted to tell some people off in some really clever ways that would wow them. I wanted to tell them to go....away for ever. Some days, people that you love and ones you dont love, treat you like horse poop. And they don't give a rip either. So after I have had my thoughts about taking them out and giving them a nasty piece of my mind, I remembered that I have choices. I have the ability to maintain me, my peace, my self, my joy. To be frank, I couldnt locate that right away, but it was good at least to remember it. I am not out of control of me. I do not have to control them, what they say, think and feel toward me. I just get to decide what to do: punch them or go find a party. Something like that. So yes. Cranky. frustrating being around jerks or having them for relatives, but alas, they are not the final word in my life no matter how much power they seem to have, I always win. (at least that is my motto) I get to win and I will win. (after I finish being mad and cranky) meanwhile I am not being fun to be with so I have sent myself to my room,,hopefully to come out with a better attitude and maybe even that Pollyanna outlook back once again. Just maybe. I get to pick.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Ponderings of Fall 12
I can't believe that I have not written a post in 14 months. This is coming from a woman who "loves" to write. I can only say I have nothing profound to write tonight except the urge to not let another day go by without updating my blog.
First I need to say...God is so incredibly kind to me. A relative who usually likes such things to remain anonymous, just paid off my debt! I am still reeling from the full impact of this news and so amazed and relieved that words cannot begin to express.
Then I need to say, I am watching my adult kids choose their mates and have children and I am in awe of what a great bunch of people they are, talented, wise beyond their years, making good decisions about life, careers and how they raise their little ones. I am thinking "wow". I must have done some things well..so grateful as I see what they are all becoming and have become!
Thirdly, I have to say that I have been privileged to have some dear beautiful friends this past 3 plus years. Friends that have gotten to know me and really support me when I have needed it, who have brought such joy and fun into my life.
Life is good to me. I have not always liked the rough parts and was stretched beyond my wildest imaginations during the hard times but have come through it all liking who I am and being ok with my past even though others may still be trying to get over it. (or not. :) )
I just rechose to live in Alaska because I know it is the right thing for me. I have the most peace living here and I know God has a good plan for me here.
So as winter approaches (rather quickly I might add), I am looking forward to my winter of plans: sewing a quilt for the next grandson, taking Spanish from Rosetta Stone and preparing my children's curriculum for teaching kids about encountering God and staying close to him.
Oh yes, I do work as a nurse 40 hrs a week preregistering patients for surgery and I do get a chance to meet all kinds of people and give them an arm of safety and calm as they come into an unknown experience of surgery.
My life is good. and my God is good all the time!
First I need to say...God is so incredibly kind to me. A relative who usually likes such things to remain anonymous, just paid off my debt! I am still reeling from the full impact of this news and so amazed and relieved that words cannot begin to express.
Then I need to say, I am watching my adult kids choose their mates and have children and I am in awe of what a great bunch of people they are, talented, wise beyond their years, making good decisions about life, careers and how they raise their little ones. I am thinking "wow". I must have done some things well..so grateful as I see what they are all becoming and have become!
Thirdly, I have to say that I have been privileged to have some dear beautiful friends this past 3 plus years. Friends that have gotten to know me and really support me when I have needed it, who have brought such joy and fun into my life.
Life is good to me. I have not always liked the rough parts and was stretched beyond my wildest imaginations during the hard times but have come through it all liking who I am and being ok with my past even though others may still be trying to get over it. (or not. :) )
I just rechose to live in Alaska because I know it is the right thing for me. I have the most peace living here and I know God has a good plan for me here.
So as winter approaches (rather quickly I might add), I am looking forward to my winter of plans: sewing a quilt for the next grandson, taking Spanish from Rosetta Stone and preparing my children's curriculum for teaching kids about encountering God and staying close to him.
Oh yes, I do work as a nurse 40 hrs a week preregistering patients for surgery and I do get a chance to meet all kinds of people and give them an arm of safety and calm as they come into an unknown experience of surgery.
My life is good. and my God is good all the time!
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